Never go into a catholic blog community and stand up for condoms!! ( See 'Natural Condoms' for oxy-morons) My comment on this post was shot down by one of James' commentors, and initially I was seething.
I've read James' blog from the start, and he warned me in person that his posts may get quite full on. He is, after all, the most devout Catholic that I know. But after much deliberation, I decided to comment on this post. James knows I 'm reading, and I would've thought he'd encourage a debate. He always makes a good point, even if people sometimes disagree with his orthodox catholic opinions, but he's taught me a thing or two in the years I've known him. What I hadn't counted on, was getting a response from one of his readers. The sarcastic tone, and down-talking nature of the comment angered me so much, I had to stop myself from replying with "who on earth do you think you are" - not the measured response of someone who stands by his own opinions! After calming down, I wondered if I should have said anything in the first place. I mean the catholic point of view certainly makes sense. How could anyone honestly enjoy using a condom? But then I remember that Kate has been on the pill since we were married, so my disliking of condoms is born of never having had to use them. Only now, since we have decided that Katy won't be going back on the pill after Ben's birth, are we using condoms. But does our use of contraception mean I don't love her more than anything on this earth? No. We would love to use natural family planning methods, but to be perfectly honest, condoms are a darn sight easier!
Anyway, I have decided not to comment on opinions born of religious dogma in future. I lack both the knowledge or understanding. Instead, I'll just stick to rambling away on my own Blog, and posting the odd comment on James' when the issues are more of the "too many free papers" ilk : D
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7 comments:
I am awfully sorry about all that, Stu. I hadn't expected you to turn out seething at all. It wasn't my purpose anyway.
There are some things here I thought to complain about, but I suppose I should leave well enough alone or now. We can fight about it another day if you like.
Beauty name on the blog, by the way.
oh go on, John...complain away. Stu can take it. ;o)
No need to apologise Mr Carriere. I wrote directly after. I think the comments moved on considerably, and I actually came round to your way of thinking on the matter. Besides, James tells me you have a tendency to rub people up the wrong way, so it's I who apologises for the overreaction!
Please feel free to complain away! I look forward to it!
Oh and thanks about the name, and for being my second reader!!
You look forward to it? Goodness.
Well in that case, it's just that you wrote your "disliking of condoms is born of never having had to use them".
It doesn't quite make sense since your dislike is found precisely in the using of them.
Perhaps you mean you haven't gotten used to them.
In that case I must say it seems a weird and horrible kind of sexual intercourse that takes some getting used to before you can like it.
I actually should've typed "my disliking of condoms is born of never having had to use them regularly. I can see I'm going to have sharpen my writing skills when entering into the fray with you!
As for "a weird and horrible kind of sexual intercourse that takes some getting used to before you can like it." I can assure I will never have to "get used" to anything when it comes to being intimate with my wife.
Our choice of contraception is exactly that, ours. Despite admitting that I don't like using them, it's Katy's preference, and as I've been party to her pumping her body with hormone pills for years, it's the very least I can do for her.
Perhaps in time, we will stop taking the easy option and opt for natural family planning. As said on numerous occassions, I more than understand your feelings on the matter. I also now understand that it is not just an issue of religion.
I say just one more thing in response to the last comment... coz i feel its gotta be said... Natural Family Planning aint hard. its pretty easy, when you get used to it. The getting used to it - the method, if you like - is only getting to know what is happening with your own bodies. Granted, it took a while to get to know what the signs of fertility were, but now, I've got to say.. it's easy.
It's not always easy abstaining when you want to make love... but then, it isn't meant to be... our making love is supposed to most pleasurable at heightened fertility... and just as well, or we probably wouldn't be here ;o)
Having said that...a bit of self-control, some sacrifice of our desires...like fasting.. is good for us. And its good for a marriage. Keeps the flame burning, the passion alive, and all that... certainly beats all that other stuff, which sounds like a real romance-killer to me(!)
One word of clarification though...NFP is NOT Catholic contraception. There's nothing 'contra' about it. And the 'P' in NFP stands for Planning. Not Prevention.
(a good website about it is www.ccli.org)
We both know NFP "ain't hard" but you do have to make a commitment to the understanding of your bodies. It takes time to get to know a cycle, and you have to be comfortable with examining yourself, something that Katy isn't particularly. Add to that the fact that we're not exactly pro-active people (if there's an easy option, despite best intentions, it will generally be taken) and you can see why we use contraception. I know you cannot condone it, and that's fine, but it's not like we haven't talked and considered NFP.
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